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Messy Mom Bun in Full Force

If there has ever been a tall-tale sign of me being tired its my messy mom bun. I have inherently curly hair, so after I shower I have to make a conscious decision to blow dry/straighten/tame this mane or throw it up in a bun and hope for the very best the next day. I like to think it’s one of those buns that looks effortless but cute, however more than likely it looks like a squirrel’s nest. We are currently on day 2 of a mom bun situation. To give a little insight my day went like this:

5am: Wake up and try to pull myself together enough so my patients wont second guess my professional abilities

6-7am: The circus begins: Get everyone dressed (against their will), fed, and try to not be late to…everything.

7:30-noon: Work work work (precious adult interaction time)

Noon-3pm: Eat lunch, pick up middle child from daycare and try to convince him that the dentist is a fun place to visit, and then inevitably visit dentist for the 1st time…dentist currently retains all her fingers so thats a plus.

3-6pm: Pick up other children, attempt to make everyone happy for 30 minutes so you can make dinner for children to complain about said dinner. Except the baby, He’ll eat damn about everything

6-7pm: Bathe the kids to wash off those nasty boy smells they picked up through the day.

7-8pm: Play time with the babes, which tonight included pillow fight and climbing on daddy until someone inevitably gets hurt. This turned into looking for a movie everyone could agree on for 15 minutes to only watch it for another 15 minutes before bed.

8-9pm: Meal prepping for the rest of the week because we are so trying to be good but I gotta say Reese’s ¬†Easter eggs are so gooddddddd and I often think to myself I think I’d rather be fat.

9:30pm: Shower which turns into to inevitable mom bun…

And this is with the help of my wonderful husband! Whew, I’m tired just re-hashing the whole thing. And then I think to myself, tomorrow is the beginning of 10 hour days for the next three days. This Mom bun might become a permanent fixture for the week.

As I was toiling away today I thought about my patients. Most of them are retired and have grown children of their own. If you have ever been to Physical Therapy, you know its about 50% exercising and 50% talking, or at least that’s how it is at our clinic. We have a ball and our patients become our family after awhile. We know about their kids, their grandkids, their lives before retirement and so on and so forth.

Today when I peeked at myself in the mirror after shower and thought “woof….oh well…” I laid down and thought about my patients who come home to empty rooms and silent halls. Right now, My kids think my husband and I hung the moon. They think we know it all and are in utter shock when we don’t. We are the kisser of boo boo’s and who they call out for in the dark when they’re scared. We are the retriever of snacks and we can make everything alright when their world is upside down. I am tired, and some days overwhelmingly tired, but I can’t really imagine it any other way. They will only be little for so long and then they will grow up, find love (I hope), maybe move away, and have lives of their own. I told my husband tonight, one day we will come home and there won’t be any squeals of laughter and the thump, thump, thump of feet running towards us. There won’t be mommy look at me or Sunday snuggles.

So messy mom bun it is. Today, maybe tomorrow, maybe for the next foreseeable future, but it does mean more time with my babies and my husband. Because time is fleeting, and my babies get a little bigger each day. A little closer every day for little birds to leave the nest. So, Rock those messy buns and pony tails ladies, heck grab a hat if you want, those little ones don’t mind, all they care about is that you are present and doing the best you can. And just in case someone needed to hear this today, You’re doing great mom. image

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A Working Mother’s Guilt

imageI had to return to work just 8 weeks after Mason was born. I had major anxiety, as I’m sure most mothers do, when having to return to work. For our family it was not a question whether I could or could not return to work. I have mountains of student loans to pay off and we are trying to save up to buy a house. Not going back to work was not a viable option for us.

Prior to going back to work I thought, “How in the world am I going to manage getting to work on time with a baby!”. I was already exhausted from multiple night feedings and I hadn’t even returned to work yet. Mason was still getting up at least twice a night at two months old, how was I going to breastfeed, get ready and be presentable, and be out the door in time?!

However, in between my pangs of guilt I also felt excitement to return to work. To return to adult conversation and having some freedom outside of our home by myself. To return to doing something that I loved and something that I felt was a part of me and defined me. I am a physical therapist. It took me 7 years to get my doctorate and I am not only proud of what I do but I love what I do. I have a powerful bond with my patients as I am there when they are at their lowest and I am part of their journey as they find their footing in the world again.

I also work because I feel that being a full time mom makes me a better mom. Every minute with Mason I cherish. I can not afford to take for granted a single minute that I have with my little one. He is only this little once. He will only want to be held and loved on for so long. From the minute he wakes up, to the time I put him down I have to soak up every laugh and every gummy smile.

Being at work for me is my “me time”. On the drive from one patient to the next, I find time to belt out to my favorite Britney song or call my best friend. Or just contemplate in perfect silence along the foothills of Kentucky on what activities our family will get into this weekend. At work, I get to have adult conversations and get a break from having one sided conversations with Dora, Peppa, and Mickey.

Being a working mom is a constant juggle. While I’m at work, I am constantly thinking of home and of Mason and if he took his nap today and how he is doing with teething today. But while I’m at home, I constantly wondering if my patients are okay, what doctors I need to call in the morning, and what paperwork I need to get done tonight. It’s a constant juggle between calling and taking care of patients with feeding Mason those peas he hates and entertaining my little monkey until bedtime. My life consists of not only having to juggle baby but juggle my married life. I am not only a mother but a wife as well. I never understood when people said there wasn’t enough time in the day until I was a working mother and wife. There will never be enough time in the day to get everything done but as long as my son and husband are happy and healthy, the rest will fall into place.

Do I still worry that Mason’s teachers or babysitter will know him better than I do? Yes I do, but even though my time with my sweet boy is limited I want it to be meaningful. I want to be an example for my son that hard work pays off. I want to show him that it can pay off if you are dedicated to your studies and education. That it is possible to find a career that will better your life and, if you’re lucky, impact someone else’s life.

Do I think that I would be happier if I didn’t work? No. Less hectic and crazy…yes. My patients and my career are a part of who I am as well as being a mother and wife. I hope that an older Mason will look back on the days when he was young and think back on his young(er) working mother who took care of the him and the household and think, “My mom really did it all and loved me all the same.” But until then I’ll continue to kiss and sing him goodnight and hug him every morning. I will thank God every day that I am a working mother who was blessed with a precious baby boy.

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Savannah Fizz

It is our first Saturday night since the creation of Bottlefedblog.com and it’s time to celebrate! Time for some “sweet tea” sippin’ and some front porch rockin’.

On this beautiful night I bring you the Savannah Fizz. This sweet, berry “sweet tea” drink is refreshing, delicious, and dangerous. You can not taste a lick of alcohol which may bring out the wild side of any momma after a few glasses of this sweet berry concoction. My wonderful husband did the heavy lifting and made this delicious and beautiful drink for us to enjoy!

Sit back, relax, and pour yourself something sweet and smooth!

“Bottles just aren’t for babies”

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Savannah Fizz

1.5 oz sweet tea vodka (such as firefly)

2 Blackberries

4 Mint leaves

1.5 oz simple syrup

Champagne

Muddle blackberries, mint and simple syrup in cocktail tin. Add sweet tea vodka and shake with ice. Double strain into glass and top with champagne and ice as desired

If you can’t find simple syrup the recipe is as follows:

Place 1 cup of water and 1 cup of sugar in small pot and cook on medium heat stirring often until sugar is dissolved. Let mixture cool and place in sealed bottle or container. Syrup will last a few weeks!

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